i'll be spending the wee hours of morning of xmas alone i suppose. raymond and jasmine are not staying. he has this uncanny abillity to make me feel insignificant you know. no matter what. and jie just feels like home (: how opposite can a pair of siblings be. i still have my family party and all, but there's still this emptiness.

i really want to go out after everyone's left or gone to bed and then just sit under the stars and watch the world go by. normally this would be e kind of things i'd call mel up and drag her along.. but she's far far away in us now, and i really really miss her. its only a few weeks and not talking to her makes me feel all weird, like something's missing. what are we gonna do when either one of us go overseas to study. sighs. and then there's e prob of insects and lizards out on the fields, grumbles.

baking with stef was lovely (: for that afternoon it really felt like christmas. the baking smell coming from the oven. laughing and talking. feeding the two un-helpers (cass & rach). hahaha. these are the things that really matter. and then i nearly bawled over stef's card. haha. i love you darling (: mucho mucho. homebody stuff (y) scrw, missing e ):

i'm starting to see signs of adulthood in many ppl. be it in the things they do, way they talk, mannerisms and everything. its becoming all curt and cold, business-like. and i really don't like it. like an email from _________ was so solemn and serious and.. cold. i hate it. why does being an adult mean that u become stern and cold, no more warmth. no more gentleness. all the harshness bursts forward. its digusting.

: she is :: the fray :